“You’ve got to be kidding. Erin, do you know how many shots you’ve given me?!?”

My patient stared at me with his eyes wide in disbelief. He was a special one… the kind that asks what you’ll be doing with the next few days off, not for the sake of small talk, but because he sincerely cares. At this point, I had been his nurse for a long time.

I confided in him that I needed additional shots for my upcoming mission trip, but I hate shots with an anxious passion. Unfortunately, I could not put off being stabbed with a needle full of dead viruses any longer. I would have to go on my day off.

If you refer to the opening statement, you’ll recall I didn’t get much sympathy from him… I attempted to justify myself.

As a little girl, I loved taking care of people and making them feel better. I thought I’d like to be a nurse when I grew up. But when my mom reminded me that nurses were the ones to give shots… it was an absolute deal breaker. My six year old heart was sickened by the thought of subjecting another person to such horror. I immediately struck nursing off the list of career possibilities. I have hated shots for that long.

“So what changed your mind?” he asked me. I was so busy fussing over shots and telling my cute little story that it took me a minute to understand what he was asking.

Then my memory jumped forward to moments far more painful than any shot.

I took a breath, “Well, you remember how I told you about my friend in high school that had cancer?”

He nodded.

“And my roommate in college?”

He nodded again.

I continued, “Growing up, my friends just kept getting sick. They endured so much and they were so brave. They loved me so well in spite of all they were going through. Watching them made me braver too. I didn’t have excuses anymore. I just wanted to help. Even now… sometimes what I have to do is really hard, but patients like you make me braver too.”

He just smiled back at me.

Now every time I get another shot for Mercy Ships, I think about this conversation.

I thank God for shots. I thank God for my friends. I thank God for patients that love me, call me out when I’m being a wimp, and ask good questions.