“Honey, I think I have socks older than you. But there’s no way you’ve only been a nurse for six months… you’re so good!”

Is being younger than socks a compliment? I smiled and shrugged. My patient was a charming old man more than three times my age. I enjoyed talking and laughing with him that night… even if he compared me to his socks.

The truth is, I started learning about being a nurse way before I ever stepped foot on a college campus.

The first medical diagnosis I ever googled was “medulloblastoma”. I was fourteen and my friend, Zach, was recently diagnosed with it. The internet said that it was a kind of brain cancer, but not much else. Later the internet would prove more useful researching words like “tracheotomy”, “VP shunt”, “locked-in syndrome”, and all kinds of procedures and tubes and surgeries that I had never heard of before.

But at the time, the only thing I could really begin to comprehend was that the sweetest guy in school was gravely ill… and I had no idea what to do about it.

So I started writing little notes on the Carepage his parents set up to keep everyone updated. I learned how to convey my thoughts and stories and feelings through a computer screen. I told him about band concerts and birthday parties and all the silly things a new freshman in high school cares about. I read about each of his good days and bad ones. He was so sick I couldn’t see him for over a year, so I learned the importance of a great nurse. They were the present friends I couldn’t be… or at least I prayed they were. As I watched and waited and prayed some more, God taught me about deep unconditional love. The kind of love that sees the great wave of sorrow coming and chooses to stay the course anyway just to be with your friend.

But Zach was kind. When we did get to see each other again, he waved at me as I walked through the door. Zach made you feel special. He listened to me so intently. Zach was safe. I knew while I stumbled and struggled with what to do or say that he would find a way to understand. Zach was generous. On his last Christmas, he asked his mom to get me a present. (He even agreed that it would come out of his allowance.)  Zach was brave. The first of many heroes.

And then one day… Zach was gone. I learned what grief really was.

It took a long time to sort out all the things I saw and felt in that season of my life. It was full of firsts and hard lessons. There were new feelings and fears to cope with. But over the years, I’ve seen God use what I learned to bless and comfort so many others. The greatest joys of my days as a nurse are the friendships with my patients.

With each new friend, I’m reminded… it began with Zach.